Tales From Caduceus: Chapter 5 "Ninja"

Out of all the employees at Caduceus, only one seemed to care about Halloween.

His name, was Tyler Chase.

Every year, Sidney sent out a memo that invited the employees to dress up for the holiday, failing to solicit any form of excitement from anyone but the blonde surgeon.

The night before Halloween, Tyler called everyone on staff to make sure that they were going to dress up with him. And like the “nice people” they all were, assured their co-worker that he would not be the only one dressed up.

But when Tyler Chase walked into work to see no one decked out but himself…

“You guys are the biggest bunch of lame-asses I have ever met!”

Sidney laughed from his office as Tyler stomped down the hallway angrily.

Dressed in full ninja gear, Tyler rounded the corner of Caduceus’s second floor, walking into the break room.

He spotted Derek over at the coffee maker, taking a sip of his precious caffeinated beverage as he turned around, spotting his best friend.

Instantly, Derek placed the back of his forearm against his mouth to hold in the coffee that was threatening to escape as he sank back against the cabinets, laughing hysterically.

The only part of Tyler’s face that was showing was a small bit of his mouth, and a thin strip where his eyes could be seen. And even though most of him was camouflaged, Derek could make out a very strong glower in his stare.

“Um… I really just… have no… words…” Derek started, chuckling as he stared open-mouthed at Tyler.

“Let me ask you something…” Tyler said, hands on his hips as he stared at Derek.

“And what is that, your ninja greatness?” Derek asked, beginning to laugh again.

Tyler scowled.

“Why are you a jerk?”

“Because it’s funny. Really, funny.”

The blonde surgeon turned ninja crossed his arms and huffed.

“I’m going to remember this next time you need a babysitter…” he said, to which Derek’s smile instantly dropped.

Cybil Myers walked toward the break room, her heels clicking against the tile. As the room came into view, she saw Derek, whom she had been searching for.

“Derek? I needed to discuss something with you about toda—hahahaAHAHAHA!”

Cybil collapsed against the door frame in hysterics as she spotted Tyler, dressed in his full ninja gear. Derek began to laugh again at her outburst, trying to hide his chuckles by lightly sipping his coffee.

“Whaaat?!” Tyler groaned, throwing his hands up in the air.

Cybil straightened herself, calming down, but still allowing the occasional giggle to resurface.

“Okay, first, you look ridiculous.” she said triumphantly, giggling again.

Tyler’s blue eyes pierced at her through the small opening he had created in his mask.

“Second, where did you…”

She stopped.

“…How did you..?”

Paused again.

“Please, please tell me that you and the rest of the Ninja Turtles will come to Max’s birthday party? He’d be so excited…” she said, to which Derek busted out laughing again.

“You guys suck. Seriously.” he said, walking out of the room.

As soon as he walked out of the doorway he bumped into Victor, who just stared blankly at him.

“Not a word, Niguel.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, Bruce Lee.”

Tyler sighed as he heard Cybil and Derek start to laugh again. He retreated back to his office, where he sat by himself, due to the fact that his very pregnant wife was now on maternity leave.

So what? He didn’t care they were all making fun of him.

He would just use his secret ninja powers to annoy.

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Sidney Kasal walked down the hall with a stack of important documents in his hands. On his way to the copier, he held the neatly organized stack in both of his hands as he read the top page while walking.

Seeing Sidney walk by, Tyler popped his head out from around a corner where he had been hiding, sneaking up behind the Director very quietly until…

“NINJA!” he yelled, karate-chopping the stack of papers in Sidney’s hands. Both men watched as the stack was smacked out of Sidney’s grasp, his neatly piled papers fluttering to the floor. He stared at the papers and then back at Tyler, slowly crossing his arms.

Seeing his frustration, Tyler just smiled, scratching his head slightly.

“What, are you doing?” Sidney asked, completely baffled as to what just happened.

“Uh. Ninja, moves…?” Tyler responded.

Sidney sighed, the glare on his glasses showing as he pushed them up his nose.

“Well, let’s hope that one of your Ninja powers is speed, because if these aren’t picked up and organized in the next three seconds I’m going to do a little trick of my own called “You’re fired.”…!”

Tyler immediately “ninja-d” to the floor.

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Sure, Sidney could can him in a heartbeat.

But tormenting Derek would do nothing besides bring Tyler joy.

He spotted the brunette surgeon turned recent father walking down the hall with a clipboard, on his way to go check on a patient. Tyler ran up quickly from behind him, slapping the clipboard out of his hands and onto the floor as he continued to run down the hallway.

“NINJA!” he yelled as his hand made contact with the clipboard.

Slightly annoyed, Derek couldn’t help but chuckle just a bit as he saw his friend run past him and around the corner.

“YOU’RE THE SLOWEST NINJA I’VE EVER MET!” Derek yelled after him, hearing Victor snicker as he walked by.

Bending down to pick up the clipboard, it never dawned on Derek that this particular part of the hospital made a loop…

…until his clipboard had been smacked out of his hands once more.

Tyler cackled as he ran away again, this time running off to hopefully go annoy someone else.

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Cybil Myers walked out of the break room, eating an apple and reading a newspaper as she walked back to her office.

“Cleverly” disguised behind a tree in the hall, Tyler snickered to himself as Cybil passed him. But before he could run up behind her…

“Touch me and you’re dead, Chase…”

“But…”

“Dead.”

Tyler smiled, unwilling to take her threat seriously. He waited a few seconds, and then sneakily bolted down the hall towards the anesthesiologist.

“DOUBLE NINJA!” he yelled as he smacked both the apple and the newspaper out of her hands and onto the green tile.

She turned around and stared at him, beginning to walk towards him just as he broke into a run in the opposite direction.

He realized at that moment as an ex-cop was chasing him, that he probably should’ve listened to her.

Running down the hallway, he saw Victor as the end of the hall where it rounded, laughing as he watched a very angry Cybil chase a ninja down the hall.

“Shut up right now or I swear I will Ninja the emo right out of you!” Tyler yelled as he rounded the corner, still desperate to lose Cybil, who wasn’t far behind.

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The men’s bathroom was where Tyler took shelter from his attacker. He was thankful that Dr. Hoffman was in the restroom already, mostly because had he not have been, there was no doubt in his mind that Cybil would’ve come charging in right after him.

He waited until he was sure she was gone, and when he peeked his head out of the door, those suspicions were confirmed. Instead of Cybil, he saw Derek with his arm around his wife’s shoulders, walking back towards their office.

Smiling, he ducked back into the bathroom and waited.

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“Mmm… this is so what I needed today…” Angie said, content with the one cup of coffee she was allowed to have per day.

“I know how you feel – giving up coffee while you were pregnant was rough…”

“You didn’t give it up – I found your empty cups, so I know you cheated.”

Derek scowled. “I know I cheated, but still. No coffee? That’s ridiculous…”

Angie giggled as she took another sip, happy to have her caffeinated love back in her life.

“When I’m done breastfeeding, we are going to have a three-week period where all we drink is coffee…”

Derek laughed, kissing the side of her head.

“Deal. But until then, enjoy what you can have.”

“Ah, Derek… have a moment?” Sidney asked, approaching the couple from behind.

“Sure Director Kasal… what can I do for you…?”

Tyler snuck another glance out the door. Derek was signing some papers Sidney had for him, and Angie had her back to him, holding what looked like a Styrofoam cup.

He giggled again as he watched, seeing Sidney begin to part ways from Derek.

And because Sidney was no longer facing the bathroom, only Derek could see Tyler walk out gently, a smile present on his barely visible mouth.

Still listening to Sidney’s explanation, Derek watched as Tyler set his sights on Angie, who was happily enjoying the only cup of coffee she could have that day. Sidney bid Derek goodbye and walked away, never noticing Ninja Tyler sneaking up on Angie.

Eyes wide, Derek tried as best he could to signal to Tyler not to do it, to leave her alone, but he was too late…

Derek closed his eyes and put a hand over his face as he heard the word “NINJA!” ring through the hall, accompanied with a shriek and the sound of a shattering mug on the tile.

Tyler’s eyes opened wide as he stood frozen, looking at the shattered piece of the mug Angie was holding now littering the ground.

Derek watched as Angie slowly turned around, coffee down the bottom front of her uniform, and all over her legs and shoes. The smile instantly wiped itself off Tyler’s face as her eyes seemingly burned into his flesh.

“Angie, I thought it was a Styrofoam cup, and I didn’t think there was coffee in it, I’m so, so…”

“That.” she started. “That, was the only cup of coffee I was allowed to have today, due to the fact that I am still breastfeeding.” she sneered, expression looking like she was ready to kill him.

Tyler now felt horrible, and also a little scared as Angie walked towards him, pacing farther away from the mess.

“I’m so sorry, Angie… So, sorry…”

“That was the stupidest thing I have ever seen a person do. And do you know who I’m married to?”

“Hey!” Derek said softly, looking at his wife who was filled to the brink with contempt.

She broke her stare with Tyler to look at her husband, who was offended.

“I love you… but tumor patient from Hope who almost died cause you left?” she said, leaving Derek to drop his offense.

“Fair enough. Carry on.” he said, smiling as he waited to see how his wife was going to deal with her assailant.

“I’ll get you a new cup!” Tyler said, motioning to the break room. “I’ll run and be back in two seconds…”

Angie smiled evilly, leaving Tyler more nervous before.

Just then, Cybil came charging around the corner, having heard the word “Ninja”.

“There you are you little sh—!”

She was promptly cut off as she saw Angie covered in coffee, standing in front of Tyler, a few feet away from where a puddle of coffee and broken ceramics laid.

“Tyler, give me your hands.” she said, holding out her hands.

Derek chuckled to himself. This was going to be awesome.

“…I don’t want to…” he said softly.

“Do it, or I let Cybil deal with you…” she said, watching as Tyler spun around to see the Iron Vixen just waiting for the signal.

Cybil and Derek watched as Tyler reluctantly placed his hands into Angie’s. In a flash, she raised their joined hands straight in the air, turned around and pushed her body backwards against his. Angie pulled their locked arms towards the floor quickly as she bent at her waist, throwing Tyler over her body. His legs flailed through the air before she slammed him down on the ground onto his back, listening as he groaned painfully.

Loud clapping could be heard from the end of the hall from Cybil as Victor, Sidney, and Dr. Clarks rounded the corner to see a coffee-covered Angie with her foot on the ninja’s chest, who now laid in slight pain on the floor.

Angie looked Tyler in the face as her shoe dug into his chest.

“Koshinage.” she muttered, flashing a smile as she put weight on the foot on his chest, stepping onto and then over him as she walked off towards her office. Victor smiled, just walking away from the scene. He could stay in the lab for days after seeing that, the mental image would be something that he would never forget.

Still half laughing with his mouth wide open, Derek quickly scurried after her, linking his arms around her as they walked.

“That, was seriously probably one of the best things I have ever seen in my life …” he said, kissing Angie’s cheek.

“Yeah, that jerk got what was coming to him… and by the way, ‘ninja’ is NOT a verb…!” she exclaimed, leaving Derek to laugh.

“I, love you…” he said, scooping her up as they walked into their office. “You’re like, wife and mother by day, ninja nurse crime fighter by night…”

Angie giggled. “Let’s work on getting me my own TV show…”

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Back in the hall, Dr. Clarks had gone to find a mop to clean up the mess, Sidney still watching the magic unfold.

Tyler shakily rose to his feet, instantly coming into view of Cybil. He panicked immediately.

“I’m not going to kill you, this time.” she said, still laughing. “I think you got enough of an ass-whooping for today…”

“That’s for sure…” he said. “I definitely wasn’t expecting that from a woman…”

Tyler groaned slightly, rubbing his back as Cybil’s gaze turned vindictive.

“What do you mean you don’t expect that from a woman…” she asked, watching as Tyler’s face became panicked once more.

In a flash, Tyler was sprinting down the hall, Cybil right on his heels.

Sidney just laughed as Dr. Clarks returned with a mop. Both men checked their pagers as a beeping was heard.

“Oh, that’s me – an emergency patient is on the way…” Dr. Clarks said, becoming visibly uncomfortable with the situation.

“Um… here…” he said, gently handing the mop to Sidney, before he rushed off to go tend to his emergency.

Sidney looked left to right, all alone in the hallway, holding a mop. Sighing, he walked over and began to clean up the mess, ready to ring Tyler by his stupid ninja neck.

A smile couldn’t help but make its way across Sidney’s face as he thought running up behind Tyler, slapping a stack of papers out of his hands, and yelling “You’re fired!”

If only there were a Halloween costume for such a thing…